Kuu-Charcoal Feather

Delurking Meme~

From the lovely mikomichan

Comment on this post with the word SPARTACUS and I will choose six interests from your profile. You will then explain what they mean/why you are interested in them. Post this along with your answers in your own journal so that others can play along.

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Kohane, hn?

I just need to rant.

Good news: I've made friends with a Japanese mom with a daughter around my own daughter's age. This has gotten me invited to a bunch of Japanese mom playdate groups where we both can practice our language skills.

Bad news: It's made me realize an ugly side to myself.

I had an okay time at the first play group. But it was smaller, and less chaotic. I was still able to talk to new people and not feel totally social awkward and everyone was amazed I had never actually been to Japan. Score.

Second playgroup meeting? Arg. Most of the other people wouldn't give me the time of day, and my one friend was busy swooning over a new friend who is a professional ballet dancer, teaches Mommy and Me classes, has a bilingually fluent son, and designs wedding dresses in her spare time. I mean REALLY? Really? Does a person like that exist? I mean, the other things, sure. But the wedding dresses? Really?

And I know I'm just jealous and feeling inferior and intimidated and it all just feels like high school all over again. And I really hate that part of myself. The part that feels jealous and feels inferior and feels intimidated. I have a happy life and wonderful family and there is zero reason for me to feel inferior. Zero. And I'm just pissed at myself that I do.
  • Current Mood
    guilty guilty
Kuu-Charcoal Feather


I know it has been a while since I posted on this thing. It's actually not that I don't read my friends page, which I do fairly frequently.

It's actually because I don't want to post pictures of the baby (now toddler). You gain the face you'll have for the rest of your life the closer you get to age two. Even though I post a ton of pictures on Facebook, somehow I'm okay with that because at least I can keep track of people on my friends list. Probably irrational though because Facebook has so many privacy holes it might as well double as a colander.

I will say my baby is growing everyday. The other night Dan had to comfort me because she woke up in the middle of the night crying, and when I went to comfort her by holding her and singing, she didn't want to be held at all and just wanted to be put back to bed. I'm glad she's learning to be independent, but god that's crushing. She already only wants to cuddle when she's either sick or very tired. My baby is gone.

On the other hand, I'm so so so proud of her. She's smart as a whip. She's already got a whole zoo of animal sounds she can do (pig, snake, bee, lion, tiger, cow, sheep, horse, dog, cat, mouse, monkey, donkey, bird...told you it was a zoo). She can name her body parts in both English and Japanese, along with clothing to put on those body parts. Her favorite activity (outside of being an agent of chaos) is for me to read books to her(One of her favorites is "fafafo" better known as The Gruffalo). Currently we've been trying to nail down consistent "please" and "thank you" which usually comes out as "piiz" and "anku" and also counting to ten. She's actually already not half bad at counting to five. She doesn't just walk anymore; she runs. And dances. And climbs up and down stairs. It's really a joy being a part of her life. All those stories you hear about parenting are all true.

I'm a definite Oya-baka. Haha
  • Current Mood
    loved joy
Uhhh ......, My default setting

(no subject)

It has been a long time, I know. Life is just a lot busier with a toddler and if there is anything I have learned this year is that you have to appreciate every moment because it goes by FAST!

I am losing my baby. She's becoming more and more independent with her own mind about what she wants to do. She gets everywhere. She's not walking, but I am totally sure it's entirely due to desire. She crawls fast and can pull herself up on stuff (or without help if she wants) and can stand and balance on her own, but learning to walk is too slow. She wants to MOVE!

She has been in very good health for a baby. I say this as we have just gotten over her head cold that turned into double ear infections. This is her first ear infection, and my pediatrician said "she's due." Now Dan and I are fighting off her cold. Haha.

Since the weather has been so warm, I took her outside and let her play on the lawn. She didn't know what to make of it. She was fine if I broke off an individual blade of grass and handed it to her but was freaked out by so much at once. She's slowly warmed up to this outdoors thing the more often I do it. Last night she stretched out of my lap to see why the clover patch looked so different. Too cute.

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    sleepy sleepy
Kuu-Charcoal Feather

(no subject)

It has been forever I know. The baby has been really getting around. She's not walking yet, but I think it's because she crawls so fast! There is no incentive to walk when she can get there twice as quickly on all fours.

I'm pretty sure we're getting into toddler territory even though she isn't walking and hasn't said words. She likes to test limits and has been playing me! When she's doing something she's not supposed to do I tell her no and she will turn from what she's doing to give me a big pout and cry. When Dan tells her no, she'll turn from what she's doing and do something else without complaint. I'm being played!

It makes me really happy she is growing so strong and so smart that she CAN be able to play me like that. Hahaha. Also she's able to get down for naps without boobie time. I'm going to try to keep nursing until she's a year old, but it's nice to have just a little bit more of independence.

Here is a stupid fact that I wondered about when I discovered they made a Spanish language version of Dora the Explorer. If English version Dora speaks Spanish, does Spanish version Dora speak English? The answer to that is yes she does.

Alright, time to go get a shower or eat or something for living like a human being.
  • Current Music
    baby down for a nap
Kuu-Charcoal Feather

Been a while.

Sorry for those who wanted an update on this. Baby has gotten more mobile, so I have gotten more busy.

So far she knows how to crawl backwards, roll, and rotate. She is STARTING to figure out the forward crawl but still hasn't quite mastered it yet.

She has also started to babble. Usually it's just "Ba Ba Ba Ba Ba Da Da Da Da" repeated, but it's still cute.

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  • Current Music
    Baby is fussin! Better go~
Kuu-Charcoal Feather

Losing my identity

I have some really great neighbors where I live, and it's not uncommon for me to walk across the street, knock on their door, and be welcomed in for some conversation. This is great for a socially deprived new mom. Aaanyways. One of my neighbors likes to tell me that when you have kids, you lose your identity. You are no longer you. You are mom.

It's true. When I see my sisters it's not "Oh hey Erin. How ya been?" It is "Where's the baby! I want to play with the baby!" When I get together with my friends, what do we talk about? Our kids. I mean even this journal is proof of the transformation.

The funny thing is, I don't mind it at all.

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Also, I have a big baby. For her four month well-visit, the pediatrician told me "she looks great, keep up the good work." Well, she is in the 90th percentile for weight and 95th for length. I haven't had definitive biceps quite like this before, or calluses on my hands in these place (from carrying the car seat around). "Minor superpowers" one of my parent friends likes to call them. Stuff like folding laundry one handed or identifying your baby's cry from a couple rooms away or carrying a load of groceries along with a car seat and 16lb baby. Minor superpowers.

She has been fussy about her vaccinations, but has been better than the last round. I think it is just that I have improved in the art of distraction (minor superpower). Also, this time I remembered which thigh the tetanus one was and try not to hold her with that one. I figure tetanus hurts adults, so no wonder why my baby would be fussy.
  • Current Music
    silent monitor, but Modest Mouse "Float On" in my head